4 September 2008
LPGA - English Please
English first. That’s the new LPGA stance. Makes sense to me. I bet a ton more golf fans speak and understand English than any other language. Let’s face it. Golf is a white-boy sport. It is English LANGUAGE dominated.
What drives the success of sports? Fans. What drive’s fan support? Media. What drives media support? Advertisers and corporations. What drives advertisers and corporations? Selling product
Every sports league is a business. That’s similar to every other business out there. If an athlete doesn’t like it, too bad. Move onto a different profession. Actually, sports has the least amount of qualifications needed. Sports are based on talent. If you’re good enough, you make it. You can be a complete idiot, criminal, illiterate, wife abuser and even a grumpy asshole to teammates and management, but still have a job and get paid millions. In the real world, most jobs require the candidate to have numerous skills and getting fired is just a 2 minute meeting away….. complete with an escort out the door by security. Remember athletes, all the money and fame you get comes from corporate sponsors. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Is it that hard for LPGA “women”….. (let’s face it, most are ugly butches)….. to learn some basic English? Even Korean Se Ri Pak agrees. As the league said, golfers don’t have to be experts, just have basic skills to get by in interviews and such. I learned basic French in school, I completed university to get qualifications for my job, the least these fat golf chicks can do is flip through a fucking dictionary. The league even said they have all the programs and courses set up, so it’s silver plattered for them. Like all sports, golf isn’t a 365 day sport. There is off time during the year and unlike the NFL, MLB, NHL and other sports, golfers can compete or ignore whatever tournament they wish. Whereas, these other sports have full grain schedules the players are expected to be ready for during the 6-7 month duration. I can see a golf interview right now…..
FCGTDKE (fat chick golfer that doesn’t know English)
NBC guy: “Great match! You won it on the last hole with a terrific birdie. What went through your mind going into the 18th?
FCGTDKE: “Bang, twang, ching, wang….. hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
NBC guy: “Uh. Yeah that’s great. So what are your impressions of this tournament…… sponsored by the Bank of America?”
FCGTDKE: “Oh. Very nice day today. Bang, tang, wing, wong……”
NBC guy: (looking flustered)….. “Thank you for your time….. Oh, here’s the runner up! Let’s have a word with her! Hi, you played a gutsy match in this blistering hot weather. You ran out of holes and just couldn’t catch the winner. If you could replay any holes in the final 9, are there any that stick in your mind?”
FCGTDKE 2: “Uhhhhh…. Hee-hee-hee-hee…… She play good. Ching, chang, pang, tong….. Thank you. I go.”
NBC guy: “Ohhhh-kayyyy. Let’s go to post-match interview. The champion is ready to take questions.”
Reporter at the mic: “Congratulations on the win! What were toughest holes on the course?
FCGTDKE: “Uhhh….. (looking at interpretor for guidance)….. hole 5.”
Reporter at the mic: “And why is that?”
FCGTKE: “Ping, pang, dong, chong…. driving.”
Reporter: at the mic: “Oh. So you mean your shot off the tee? It actually looked pretty good. What was wrong with it?”
FCGTKE: “Hee-hee-hee-hee….. No….. caddy drive cart into ditch!”
