Hey look at me! I’m a pitcher in a league full of steroid users. I get paid $10,000,000 per year to throw a ball 60 ft, but I have gargantuan problem: My name is A.J. Burnett and I have a broken finger nail. Wahhhhhhhhh!!!

As usual, out of all athletes, baseball players take the crown for definitely claiming the most silly and childish injuries. Is a 15-day DL coming? Maybe. Oh my god, I just heard Ryan Howard will miss 3 games for ass cramping farts! But even worse, Manny Ramirez will take a day off because he can’t see….. too much gunk in his eyes after taking a nap! Gay ass wimps. More funnies here, here and here.

Burnett solid but Jays blanked by Twins

A.J. Burnett

The Canadian Press

3/7/2008 6:39:27 PM

DUNEDIN, Fla. - A.J. Burnett is learning to thrive with a broken nail on his right index finger.

The Toronto starter allowed a run in three innings of the Blue Jays’ 4-0 loss to a Minnesota Twins split squad on Friday.

Burnett allowed four hits and struck out two without using his curveball because of the nail.

“I can start the season the way it is if need be,” Burnett said. “Worst case is I will glue on a fake one.”