Sports Pro Central Archives: July 2007
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24 July 2007
Scandals & Sports - A New League Begins
With scandals flooding every inch of recycled newsprint and dead pixel, wouldn’t it great to invent a new league? Maybe the NSL? And no, I’m not talking about the National Skydiving League. But the National Scandal League.
Imagine a cross-sport league where the point is for its players to commit illegal and absurd […]
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17 July 2007
This Week’s Moronic Sports Stories
I couldn’t believe my eyes when all the key headlines on my favourite sports page - ESPN - involved complete idiocy. I know what you’re thinking. Let’s jump to ESPN.com. Go ahead, but what purpose are comical stories without comical commentary?
Laugh at these losers. But then cry, since they all earn […]
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14 July 2007
Exciting Track & Field News
I’ve never been a fan of track & field. Big time bore and extremely one-dimensional athletes, who add virtually zero excitement and TV ratings. Now that I think of it, I detest track sports. A waste of time, funding and sporting venues.
Well, I’m blushing. I admit it. For the […]
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11 July 2007
Albert Pujols: All-Star Toddler
Wahhhhhh!!! That’s not the sound of a 2-year old screaming cuz he unloaded a watery dump in his diaper. It’s none other than chubby St. Louis Cardinal Albert Pujols who got benched during the All-Star game. He’s another jerk-off along side fellow Card (B)Rick Ankiel. Birds of a feather.
Al is angry, […]
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7 July 2007
“Tour de France” Translated
Uh Oh. It’s that time of the year again. Nope, it’s not taxes. It’s every European’s second favourite sport behind fute-bull - Tour de France. But for the Western hemisphere, let me translate:
Tour = Boring
de = and
France = Gay
Now repeat after me folks, “Tour de France is Boring and Gay”
Do the […]
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1 July 2007
Who Says Scalping is Bad?
You: “Hey, let’s go see a game.”
Buddy: “Sure, lemme check for tix online… shit, everything is sold out.”
You: “Hmmm… wanna buy scalped tix?”
Buddy: “Fuck it. I’m not gonna support those grubby scalpers.”
Story sound familiar sports fans? If it doesn’t, then it means you live in a cash-strapped city with a shitty team nobody […]