Sports Pro Central Archives: March 2007
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25 March 2007
I Offer Pity, Compassion and Mercy
It takes a big man to show his love. I am one of them. There are a lot of tragedies in sports and I am here to sacrifice bandwidth and the risk of incurring carpal tunnel syndrome.
Tragedy 1: Cal Ripken’s back-ups
This hogging Hall of Famer played around 98% of Baltimore’s […]
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25 March 2007
Basketball is like a Hot Dog
Putting on my Einstein hat leads me to believe sports excitement is a combination of interest and time. The higher each one scores, the better right? Something is wrong here because basketball is the exact opposite. The lower the time the better, since the game is like a slimy sodium filled hot […]
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25 March 2007
Steroidization
ALL YOU DRUGGIES OUT THERE ARE BANNED FROM COMMENTING. YOUR CHERISHED ADDICTION WILL SKEW RESULTS. SKIP TO THE NEXT TOPIC NOW!
Let’s talk steroids in baseball. Government intervention, Mark McGwire, player banishment, suspensions, BALCO, Barry Bonds, artificial home run records, biceps beyond belief.
You know what they have in […]
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25 March 2007
Football Players Equivalent to a Doorstop
Doorstop, noun.
A wedge inserted beneath a door to hold it open at a desired position.
Football Player, noun.
Meathead. Asked by coach to perform one task at a time.
There you go. Two nouns equal in value, importance and intellectual aptitude. Whereas players in other sports utilize their diverse skills in all sorts of situations, […]
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25 March 2007
Whiney Canucks
Get out the sandbags. Every year those law-abiding Canadians cry, whimper and yammer that too many NHL rosters are crammed with players from other countries.
“Those damn Yanks know nothing about hockey”
“Yet another Russian on the team….. he doesn’t speak English too”
“Yes! Canadian players increased 1.5%…. back to 60% of the league. Take […]
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